CONFLICT: RETALIATION LEADS TO ESCALATION

Conflict escalates because of how someone perceives and responds to your behaviour. Controlling your behaviour and consciously choosing your response can help you disrupt what the Mediation Training Institute (MTI) refers to as the Retaliatory Cycle.

by Craig Runde, Program Designer, and Partner & Board Member of the Institute for Workplace Dynamics- IWD – Europe in Paris, France. 

The Retaliatory Cycle
MTI’s concept of the Retaliatory Cycle provides clear insight into how conflict escalates because of the way people perceive and respond to the behaviour of others. It shows how a triggering behaviour is first perceived by someone. This, in turn, generates an emotional response, typically anger. This anger then drives people to respond with one of the wrong responses – power-plays or walk-aways. These behaviours then trigger the other person and the cycle continues.
Behaviour is Easiest Change

Dan Dana, who created the Retaliatory Cycle concept, generally recommends that the easiest place to disrupt the cycle is in the acting out phase, because it is easier to consciously choose better behaviours than it is to manage your emotions or change your perceptions.

Managing Emotions

There is also merit in learning to manage and regulate your emotions. A recent research article on emotion regulation and conflict suggests that by regulating emotions, teams are able to keep conflict from becoming destructive and to get better performance results. (1) While it can be challenging, working on improving your emotional intelligence and emotion regulation can help lessen the grip of the Retaliatory Cycle. A number of helpful techniques for managing conflict emotions can be found in Runde and Flanagan’s Becoming a Conflict Competent Leader (2nd ed.) 2012.

 

 

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